Dan B. Allender

Now available in trade paper! What if you could experience a marriage that is not just good, but truly life-giving? Therapists Dan Allender and Steve Call show how deeper intimacy can bring more healing and delight. Every relationship has its highs and lows, but we often don't know what to do with our "lows," or how we ended up there. What is creating friction, exacerbating our pain, and standing in the way of intimacy? More often than not, it is the stories of our past drifting into the present. But if we are willing to look at them closely, we will be able to write a new story for the future. With more than seventy years of therapeutic experience combined, Dan Allender and Steve Call demonstrate how God is inviting you and your partner to a wild faith journey with the hope of transformation. With personal stories, key psychological insights, and practical advice, The Deep-Rooted Marriage will help you: Address past trauma, giving you greater courage and compassion to engage your present struggles. Disrupt cycles of conflict based on shame, judgment, and resentment. Create safety when feeling threatened and offer attunement, empathy, and honor toward differences. Adopt humility, honesty, kindness, curiosity, defiance against what divides, and intention to bless. Learn practices that cultivate emotional intimacy, generating new goodness between you and beyond you. Marriage is not about merely getting along or resolving conflict through compromise. It reveals who you are and invites you to who you can become. Marriage offers a space for you to experience what you are made for—honor and delight. And it is the ground from which redemption is meant to grow, where, together, you can reflect God's image more and experience a taste of heaven.

What if you could experience a marriage that is not just good, but truly life-giving? Therapists Dan Allender and Steve Call show how deeper intimacy can bring more healing and delight. Every relationship has its highs and lows, but we often don't know what to do with our "lows," or how we ended up there. What is creating friction, exacerbating our pain, and standing in the way of intimacy? More often than not, it is the stories of our past drifting into the present. But if we are willing to look at them closely, we will be able to write a new story for the future. With more than seventy years of therapeutic experience combined, Dan Allender and Steve Call demonstrate how God is inviting you and your partner to a wild faith journey with the hope of transformation. With personal stories, key psychological insights, and practical advice, this accompanying workbook to The Deep-Rooted Marriage will help you:Address past trauma, giving you greater courage and compassion to engage your present strugglesDisrupt cycles of conflict based on shame, judgment, and resentmentCreate safety when feeling threatened and offer attunement, empathy, and honor toward differencesAdopt humility, honesty, kindness, curiosity, defiance against what divides, and intention to blessLearn practices that cultivate emotional intimacy, generating new goodness between you and beyond you This workbook experience will guide you into a deeper application of The Deep-Rooted Marriage principles and includes a video component. Marriage is not about merely getting along or resolving conflict through compromise. It reveals who you are and invites you to who you can become. Marriage offers a space for you to experience what you are made for—honor and delight. And it is the ground from which redemption is meant to grow, where, together, you can reflect God’s image more and experience a taste of heaven.

What if you could experience a marriage that is not just good, but truly life-giving? Therapists Dan Allender and Steve Call show how deeper intimacy can bring more healing and delight. Every relationship has its highs and lows, but we often don't know what to do with our "lows," or how we ended up there. What is creating friction, exacerbating our pain, and standing in the way of intimacy? More often than not, it is the stories of our past drifting into the present. But if we are willing to look at them closely, we will be able to write a new story for the future. With more than seventy years of therapeutic experience combined, Dan Allender and Steve Call demonstrate how God is inviting you and your partner to a wild faith journey with the hope of transformation. With personal stories, key psychological insights, and practical advice, The Deep-Rooted Marriage will help you:Address past trauma, giving you greater courage and compassion to engage your present struggles. Disrupt cycles of conflict based on shame, judgment, and resentment. Create safety when feeling threatened and offer attunement, empathy, and honor toward differences. Adopt humility, honesty, kindness, curiosity, defiance against what divides, and intention to bless. Learn practices that cultivate emotional intimacy, generating new goodness between you and beyond you. Marriage is not about merely getting along or resolving conflict through compromise. It reveals who you are and invites you to who you can become. Marriage offers a space for you to experience what you are made for—honor and delight. And it is the ground from which redemption is meant to grow, where, together, you can reflect God's image more and experience a taste of heaven.

What if you could experience a marriage that is not just good, but truly life-giving? Therapists Dan Allender and Steve Call show how deeper intimacy can bring more healing and delight. Every relationship has its highs and lows, but we often don't know what to do with our "lows," or how we ended up there. What is creating friction, exacerbating our pain, and standing in the way of intimacy? More often than not, it is the stories of our past drifting into the present. But if we are willing to look at them closely, we will be able to write a new story for the future. With more than seventy years of therapeutic experience combined, Dan Allender and Steve Call demonstrate how God is inviting you and your partner to a wild faith journey with the hope of transformation. With personal stories, key psychological insights, and practical advice, The Deep-Rooted Marriage will help you:Address past trauma, giving you greater courage and compassion to engage your present struggles. Disrupt cycles of conflict based on shame, judgment, and resentment. Create safety when feeling threatened and offer attunement, empathy, and honor toward differences. Adopt humility, honesty, kindness, curiosity, defiance against what divides, and intention to bless. Learn practices that cultivate emotional intimacy, generating new goodness between you and beyond you. Marriage is not about merely getting along or resolving conflict through compromise. It reveals who you are and invites you to who you can become. Marriage offers a space for you to experience what you are made for—honor and delight. And it is the ground from which redemption is meant to grow, where, together, you can reflect God's image more and experience a taste of heaven.

Find freedom and healing from painful memories and relational struggles and learn how your past has uniquely prepared you to experience more joy. Tragedy and pain inevitably touch our lives in some way. We long to feel whole, but more often than not, the way we've learned to deal with our wounds pushes us away from the very restoration we need most. Renowned psychologist Dr. Dan Allender and counselor and teacher Cathy Loerzel present a life-changing process of true connection and healing with ourselves, God, and others. With a clear, biblically trustworthy method, Allender and Loerzel walk you through a journey of profound inner transformation--from the shame and hurt of old emotional wounds to true freedom and healing. Drawn from modern research and their pioneering work at The Allender Center, they will help you identify your core trauma in one of the three outcast archetypes--the widow, orphan, or stranger--and chart your path of growth into the God-given roles of priest, prophet, or leader. This book will help you learn: What to do about feeling out-of-place and directionlessHow your coping mechanisms create a false sense of healthHow to embrace your divine calling and find lasting reconciliationHow your heart wounds are your unique invitation to true strength and purpose. Your past pain does not dictate your life. Answer the call to healing and discover your life's beautiful story and a future of hope and freedom.

This companion workbook to The Wounded Heart will help you work through the complex issues of sexual abuse in a concrete way by leading you step-by-step through the process of change. It also includes specific sections for men, ideas for discussion-group facilitators, and reflective quotations from fellow strugglers with sexual abuse.

Dr Dan B Allenders bok är en skattkista vad gäller kunskap om sexuella trauman/andra psykologiska trauman. Författarens livslånga terapeutiska arbete med djupt sårade och kränkta människor tillsammans med hans knivskarpa ärlighet angående kampen mot de tankesystem som förstör ger oss möjlighet att förstå, både psykologiskt och andligt, vår trasighet och våra skador. Dan B Allender har en helhetssyn på hur sinnet/kroppen/neurologin påverkar våra reaktioner efter trauma och sexuella övergrepp. Författaren förenar kunskap, skicklighet och en ovanligt djupgående förståelse för hur människor fungerar med uppriktig kärlek och personlig smärta som blir levande för läsaren. - Trauma i olika form har en djup påverkan på hur vi kommer att leva våra liv. - Trauma påverkar våra strategier för att hantera kroppen, vardagen och våra relationer. - Trauma går även ned på cellnivå och ligger i hög grad bakom en rad sjukdomar som autoimmuna sjukdomar, reumatism och även cancer. - Trauma sätter påvisbara spår i hjärnan. Dan B. Allender vill med boken ge dig – eller någon du känner och kanske lever tillsammans med – kunskap om vad som händer i samband med trauma och då speciellt sexuella övergrepp av olika slag. Om du har varit utsatt för övergrepp tar han dig mer eller mindre vid handen och för dig med på en resa tillbaka till det du varit med om. Där visar han hur detta kan ha påverkat din syn på dig själv och dina strategier för att klara av vardagen. Med hjälp av boken och den inkluderade arbetsboken får du redskap att förstå hur just du hanterat och fortsätter att hantera händelsen/händelserna. Boken är skriven utifrån en kristen grundsyn. Boken rekommenderas för dig som • varit utsatt för övergrepp • lever tillsammans med någon som varit utsatt för övergrepp • i kyrkan möter människor som lever med trauman

First published in 1989, Dan Allender's The Wounded Heart has helped hundreds of thousands of people come to terms with sexual abuse in their past. Now, more than twenty-five years later, Allender has written a brand-new book on the subject that takes into account recent discoveries about the lasting physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual ramifications of sexual abuse. With great compassion Allender offers hope for victims of rape, date rape, incest, molestation, sexting, sexual bullying, unwanted advances, pornography, and more, exposing the raw wounds that are left behind and clearing the path toward wholeness and healing. Never minimizing victims' pain or offering pat spiritual answers that don't truly address the problem, he instead calls evil evil and lights the way to renewed joy. Counselors, pastors, and friends of those who have suffered sexual harm will find in this book the deep spiritual guidance they need to effectively minister to the sexually broken around them. Victims themselves will find here a sympathetic friend to walk alongside them on the road to healing.

First published in 1989, Dan Allender's The Wounded Heart has helped hundreds of thousands of people come to terms with sexual abuse in their past. Now, more than twenty-five years later, Allender has written a brand-new book on the subject that takes into account recent discoveries about the lasting physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual ramifications of sexual abuse. With great compassion Allender offers hope for victims of rape, date rape, incest, molestation, sexting, sexual bullying, unwanted advances, pornography, and more, exposing the raw wounds that are left behind and clearing the path toward wholeness and healing. Never minimizing victims' pain or offering pat spiritual answers that don't truly address the problem, he instead calls evil evil and lights the way to renewed joy. Counselors, pastors, and friends of those who have suffered sexual harm will find in this book the deep spiritual guidance they need to effectively minister to the sexually broken around them. Victims themselves will find here a sympathetic friend to walk alongside them on the road to healing.

2016 IVP Readers' Choice Award "Biblical spirituality . . . asserts that God is not done with the business of revelation and creation but instead continues to have something to say and something yet to be accomplished in the very culture that isn't sure if God is done speaking." So begins Keith Anderson as he invites us on a journey to relearn how to listen. "My claim is simple: spirituality is grounded in ordinary life experiences. We need to learn to listen to rhythms of life, narratives and creation." Rather than settling for a one-sided relationship with God in which we speak but never hear back, we can learn to hear God as we go through our lives. The key is paying attention to the moments that make up our days. As we participate in the world around us, God speaks to us through creation, through the stories we tell, through our pain and as we follow God down unexpected pathways. Learning to listen doesn't happen in ten easy steps. Instead it is a process of approaching the world with wonder and curiosity as we seek to make sense of what we hear. Hearing God speak takes time and practice, and Anderson offers reflective exercises at the end of each chapter to help us along the way. Listen—and step into a world alive with God's presence.

We live in a sexually mad world where God's gift of sex has been distorted through pornography, promiscuity, prostitution, abuse, trafficking, and rape. The church's position on sexual matters has been made clear throughout history: all sexual activity outside the boundaries of Christian marriage is sin. But rarely has the church honestly addressed the true needs of Christians who are struggling with sexual desires they believe to be counter to the Bible. So we hide our struggles and pretend to live above the erotic fray, or else we cozy up to the culture's redefinition of which sins are acceptable. But what does the Bible really say about sexual desire and sexual intimacy? God Loves Sex offers a truly liberating, godly view of holy sensuality by recovering the clear meaning of the Song of Songs as God-sanctioned eroticism. Then it uses that lens to answer questions posed by a fictional new Christian struggling with expectations of sexual purity. It asks provocative questions, such as What does it mean to be both holy and filled with rich sexual desire? and How can our sexual struggles take us deeper into the purposes of God? Pairing psychological insight with sound biblical scholarship, Allender and Longman bring it all out into the open, allowing Christians of any age and any marital status to discover sex the way God meant it to be.

According to Drs. Larry Crabb and Dan Allender, encouragement is more than a compliment or a pat on the back. It's a skill that can be mastered by anyone. Crabb and Allender ask: "What must we know in order to fulfill the biblical exhortation to 'encourage one another?'" Encouragement provides the answer. Part one deals with understanding encouragement, and part two explores the process of encouragement, including such practical how-tos as developing a careful selection of encouraging words; cultivating active listening skills; using biblical fellowship to move beyond superficial smiles and shallow greetings; and recognizing subtle opportunities for encouragement. Without the encouragement of a caring community, biblical truth taught in church tends to just thicken people's defense layers. But authenticity, freedom, and greater love for God and others are the fruit of encouragement, and evidence of the tremendous power God invests in individuals who practice it.

What would you do for twenty-four hours if the only criteria were to pursue your deepest joy? Dan Allender’s lyrical book about the Sabbath expels the myriad myths about this “day of rest,” starting with the one that paints the Sabbath as a day of forced quiet, spiritual exercises, and religious devotion and attendance. This, he says, is at odds with the ancient tradition of Sabbath as a day of delight for both body and soul. Instead, the only way we can make use of the Sabbath is to see God’s original intent for the day with new eyes. In Sabbath, Allender builds a case for delight by looking at this day as a festival that celebrates God’s re-creative, redemptive love using four components:Sensual glory and beautyRitualCommunal feastingPlayfulnessNow you can experience the delight of the Sabbath as you never have before—a day in which you receive and extend reconciliation, peace, abundance, and joy. The Ancient PracticesThere is a hunger in every human heart for connection, primitive and raw, to God. To satisfy it, many are beginning to explore traditional spiritual disciplines used for centuries . . . everything from fixed-hour prayer to fasting to sincere observance of the Sabbath. Compelling and readable, the Ancient Practices series is for every spiritual sojourner, for every Christian seeker who wants more.

What's the forecast for your marriage? Marriages are as variable as the weather, and every marriage has a climate. Some are chilly and lack intimacy. Others are stormy and filled with conflict. But while the weather outdoors is beyond our control, the communication climates within our homes can be changed--for the better. Communication specialist Tim Muehlhoff offers simple strategies for improving the climate of a marriage. Our individual words and actions always take place within an overall atmosphere of expectations. Without a healthy climate of trust, we are prone to miscommunication and misunderstanding. Muehlhoff shows how to take an accurate climate reading of a relationship and explains what causes climates of poor communication. With current research on marital communication, listening skills, empathy and conflict resolution, Marriage Forecasting provides practical ways for couples to rebuild a warm relational climate. Don't just talk about the weather. Break the cold front, clear the fog, and change the extended outlook for your marriage.

Förvandla din svaghet till din styrka! I de flesta ledarskapsböcker hittar man strategier för hur man ska utveckla sin ledarskapsförmåga och minska eventuella svagheter. Men Bibeln lär oss motsatsen. Gud väljer människor med stora fel och brister och ser till att de blir mäktiga ledare, inte trots svagheterna utan på grund av dem. Våga använda dina egna svagheter! Det är genom att våga vara sig själva som haltande ledare får andra att följa. Haltande ledare har framgång eftersom de inte är upptagna med att försöka upprätthålla sin image. De låter sig inte avskräckas av kaos och komplexitet och de är inte rädda för att misslyckas med att lyfta en organisation från det som är till hur det borde vara. Om du är ledare eller om du försökt smita undan ledarskapet måste du ta reda på hur dina svagheter kan komma till användning. En haltande ledare är den sorts person som Gud använder sig av för att uträtta underverk.

Dan B. Allender and Tremper Longman III have together written this brief, simple and engaging introduction to help couples build healthy and happy marriages. Following the "leave, weave and cleave" imagery of the Bible, they help couples learn how to leave their parents, weave a life together and cleave to each other.

We all want to know our life matters. Dan B. Allender and Tremper Longman III look at how we are tempted to find meaning in the various areas addressed in the book of Ecclesiastes: work, success, relationships, gaining knowledge, money, etc. A fictionalized narrative introduces each chapter, creating an ongoing story throughout the book.

Do you know how to listen to your spouse? How can you "give life" to your marriage with your words? Dan B. Allender and Tremper Longman III have together written this inductive Bible study guide to help couples build healthy and happy marriages. Through six study sessions for individuals, couples or groups, they help you explore differences that might hinder communication and learn strategies that can strengthen your marriage. Intimate Marriage Bible studies bring spouses into deeper communion with God and with each other. In marriage a man and a woman are called to leave their families of origin, to weave their individual lives into a unity and to cleave to each other. How can fallen human beings even begin to contemplate this ideal--God's ideal? These studies will help you take small but real steps toward honoring the image of God in each other and living out God's goal for marriage. As you explore and respond to Scripture together, you will discover strength and beauty in your marriage and become even more intimate companions.

In Hope When You're Hurting, Drs. Larry Crabb and Dan Allender consider four key questions people ask: What's wrong? Who can help? What will the helper do? And, What can I hope for? In answering these questions, Crabb and Allender shed light on the strengths and weaknesses of different counseling models. They consider the psychological, medical, and spiritual aspects of emotional pain. They examine the role of the church as a vital agent for restoration and growth. And most important, they offer guidance, choices, and hope for people struggling with spiritual and emotional pain.

We've come to view love as being "nice," yet the kind of love modeled by Jesus Christ has nothing to do with manners or unconditional acceptance. Rather, it is disruptive, courageous, and socially unacceptable. In Bold Love, Dr. Dan Allender and Dr. Tremper Longman III draw out the aggressive, unrelenting, passionate power of genuine love. Far from helping you "get along" with others, Bold Love introduces the outlandish possibility of making a significant, life-changing impact on family, friends, coworkers--even your enemies. Learn more about forgiveness, maturity, and seeing others through Jesus' eyes.