Ira Nayman

The 13th book in the Alternate Reality News Service series includes, among its other humorous fake journalism, two special reports: one on the way social systems break down and one on the way Artificial Intelligence is changing everything in our lives. The Alternate Reality News Service: When we break the news, it stays broken

Emigrating to a new universe can be hard. People in the new universe eat for sustenance (rather than get their energy directly from sunlight). Eww! They use umbrellas to protect them from the rain (rather than pianos and anvils and safes and orangutans - oh, my! - falling from the sky). Their gods do not reward them in the afterlife for how funny they were while they were alive - as if any other qualities in life matter! Fleeing a dying universe is not for the faint of gall bladder! The Ugly Truth: is the final volume in Ira Nayman's appropriately described Multiverse Refugees trilogy. In it, musicians are hoist on their own poetic petard, pies fly and four foot tall blue aliens with no hair and exaggeratedly round features who wear exquisite three piece suits find amusing new ways to die. As they say on Earth Prime 4-6-4-0-8-9 dash Omega, "May the Audi Enz laugh upon you all the days of your life!"

Two years after the discovery that Earth Prime 4-6-4-0-8-9 dash Omega is in imminent danger of collapse, the Transdimensional Authority has helped hundreds of millions… well, millions… okay, a lot of aliens immigrate to Earth Prime. How’s that working out? Rodney Pendleton, the first alien to make the move, is now a tech millionaire (hover technology is wildly popular – who knew?). Wainwright Walsh, lead singer for The Occidental Tourists (ask your parents… or, maybe your grandparents), puts together an all-star band to raise funds for a foundation to help the aliens adjust to their new home. But all is not beat yas and scream on Earth Prime. An investigation into the first murder of an alien being leads to an anti-alien protest group, revealing a dark, speciesist strain of human emotion. And a different investigation into the disappearance of aliens in Latin America reveals a dark, greedy strain of human emotion. It turns out, some problems cannot be solved by the swift, unexpected application of pie!

The fourth and fifth Alternate Reality News Service collections of reporting from Earth Prime 1-6-7-1-8-2 dash Psi, a universe where the United States of Vesampucceri is the world's leading idiotiocracy, collected in a single volume.

The McDruhitmumpf presidency ends pretty much the way it began: with criminality, gaslighting and so much chaos you could bake a wedding cake from it. Nobody saw the insurrection coming, but everybody agreed that, in retrospect, it was inevitable. Retrospect teaches us hard lessons. Bastard retrospect. Not that the Reduhblicans were resting on their...whatever the opposite of laurels is. They worked hard to deny incoming Dumbopratic President Joe Bidenhisbeeswax a smooth transition. Or, any legislative accomplishments. Or, a pleasant lunch. Petty? Sure. But, you don't get to exercise power by being magnanimous, and, anyway, "pleasant lunch" is not an item on the Capitol Cafeteria menu. In the fifth and final book in the Vesampucceri series (I know I've said that before, but...but...but... SHUT UP ), President Ronald McDruhitmumpf may be gone, but his influence malingers on. And, maybe he isn't even really that gone. Chaos abides...

All of the news from Vesampucceri, the world's leading idiotocracy, in one handy volume Contains the complete text of ARNS and the Man, E Deplorables Unum and Angels of Our Bitter Nature, as well as an introduction written especially for this volume.

At the end of You Can’t Kill the Multiverse (But You Can Mess With its Head), Doctor Alhambra, the chief scientist of the Transdimensional Authority, set up an alarm to warn him if a universe is succumbing to the universe-killing machine that is at the heart of the story. But how would the Transdimensional Authority respond if that alarm went off? In Good Intentions, the first book in the Multiverse Refugees Trilogy, but also the sixth Transdimensional Authority novel, we find out. In the process we not only meet the most unusual refugees in fiction (probably), learn what Noomi Rapier’s brother does (and with whom), revisit Dingle Dell, and finally discover what happened to chapter seventeen of The Multiverse is a Nice Place to Visit But I Wouldn’t Want to Live There.

The Alternate Reality News Service brings you the latest from Vesampucceri, the world's leading idiotocracy. Is President McDruhitmumpf cribbing talking points about border security from Hollywood movies? We'll be there Who is the latest associate of the President to cooperate with Special Prosecutor Meullitallover, who is the next person likely to leave the McDruhitmumpf administration (who will then go on to cooperate with Prosecutor Meullitallover) and who is the latest critic of the President to become his best friend? We've got the latest. And, just what does the McDruhitmumpf administration have against butterflies? Come with us as we explore a moment in history that feels like a century ago even though it was only yesterday. The Alternate Reality News Service: when we break news, it stays broken

Amazing Stories, the home of Jules Verne and H. G. Wells, publisher of the first stories of Ursula K. Leguin and Isaac Asimov, is back in print after an absence of more than a decade This relaunch of the iconic first science fiction magazine is packed full of exciting science fiction, fantasy, and articles, all in a beautiful package featuring eye-catching illustrations and cartoons. The Amazing Stories Winter 2018 issue (the 615th issue since 1926) includes work by: Gary Dalkin - Jack Clemons - David Gerrold - M. J. Moores - Jen Frankel - Tatiana Ivanova - Cathy Smith - Brad Preslar - Brian Rappatta - Joanna Miles - Shirley Meier - Ricky Brown - Steve Fahnestalk

Dimsum Agglomeratizatonalisticalism spent three weeks in a neck brace, a legacy of whiplash from the government's constantly changing positions. Francis Grecoromacolluden was found wandering around downtown Washburningdington in Stupefying Snailman pjs, mumbling to himself about moon craters and ocelots, a victim of PDS (Political Derangement Syndrome). Antoinette de la Boulevardier sighed once, sent out a prayer to the god of cottage cheese and entered a fugue state from which doctors cannot seem to rouse her. Nobody said reporting from Earth Prime 1-6-7-1-8-2 dash psi, where the United States of Vesampucceri is the world leading idiotocracy, was going to be easy." Aah, they knew what they were getting when they signed up for the gig " Alternate Reality News Service Editrix-in-Chief Brenda Brundtland-Govanni begged to differ. "What I never beg When I differ, I take possession of my differing "Could ARNS reporters have known that President Ronald McDruhitmumpf would pay a porn star to not reveal their love affair? "Aah, no," Brundtland-Govanni allowed. Could they have seen the President's unhinged rhetoric bringing war to the Middle East? "More war," Brundtland-Govanni insisted. "But, uhh, no. No, they could not." Did they know that people who mailed themselves to the USV would be mistaken for bombs by ICES?" Okay, okay. Maybe our reporters didn't know what they were getting," Brundtland-Govanni grumpily admitted. "But, they do now. Vesampucceri is nuts "Reader, you have been warned. Praise for ARNS and the Man, the previous Alternate Reality News Service book with reporting from Vesampucceri: "Amusing, sardonic political and social satire that brims with wordplay legerdemain and oddballisticelaboratified name invention. Trenchantly twisted and good fun." - John Shirley, author of A Song Called Youth: Eclipse"I don't often read science fiction but when I do, Ira Nayman's ARNS and the Man is near the top of my list. Wacky, surreal, bizarre, and all too close to reality, Nayman spins a web of satirical hilarity ripped from the headlines." - Terry Fallis, two-time winner of the Stephen Leacock Medal for Humour." Ira Nayman rivals Walt Kelly for the skilled and joyous administration of near hallucinogenic word play as an antidote for the madness of our political process. And unlike the brave possum of Okefenokee Swamp, the truths of ARNS and the Man were crafted by someone wearing pants." - Hugh Spencer, author of Why I Hunt Flying Saucers and Extreme Dentistr

A collection of Alternate Reality News Service articles focused on Earth Prime 1-6-6-5-8-2 dash omega, a universe where all of the world's advanced societies are idiotocracies, rule by the stupidest. In this book, you will learn about the war on donuts, the tweeping habits of the President of the United States of Vesampucceri and how the Duchy of Grand Fenwick interfered in the last Vesampuccerian election. Stay informed Stay silly Read ARNS and the Man

Do you have what it takes to become a reporter for the Alternate Reality News Service? Curiosity? Courage? Your own notepad? Can you imagine yourself writing about worlds where: -the best way to cure cancer may be to negotiate with it; -there is a project to collect, rebuild and reanimate the atoms that made up Albert Einstein's body (so far, they have most of his ankle ); -China avoids a war with the United States (without firing a shot) by repossessing the American military in payment of the country's debt; -a woman sues General Motors for palimony, claiming that the corporation, legally a person, was the father of her child? If not, read What Were Once Miracles Are Now Children's Toys. If so, welcome to the Alternate Reality News Service. Spelling and grammatical correctitude optional.

If you don't read Luna for the Lunies , you will miss the following: This is the future: an Apple Records logo stamped on the cheek of humanity...forever. Proper attribution format in news articles must be maintained. This is what separates us from the animals When everybody looks like they are starving, true starvation becomes kitsch. "Have we learned nothing from the GEU UME?" "Y"' ''''d't ''''''' h'' b'' '' ca' g''," v'' W'''y s'''. "I doubleplusunhate you. I doubleplusunhate you with all my heart " "As we say in the company's executive colouring book: Extremism in the pursuit of violent vices is no liberty." After you've slept with a comedian, there are no depths to which people won't believe you can sink. "As happy as a herd of flutzes. Trips off the tongue, doesn't it?" Of course, you won't miss any of this because you just read it. Here. In the description of the book. But, you will miss other things that are almost as good. Like, context. So...there.