A board book with six touch-and-feel (or smell!) elements that punctuate simple illustrations, this hilarious novelty book provides today's hardworking grown-up different tactile, visual, or smelly ways to, well, calm the f*ck down. Bright, bold images of puppies, blankets, rainbows, sunsets, and more, each complemented with a different texture or interactive element, are designed to give readers moments of quiet respite from the onslaught of real-world angst and responsibilities. Guaranteed to calm anyone from a neurotic New York businessperson to a harried soccer parent to anyone who watches the news, Pet This F*cking Puppy will make people smile long enough to feel a little better.