Michael Allen Rose

Wahl'ter Dinsdale has been the master accountant for the tribe of the break-room for many seasons. He has secured the sacred vending machines against all attackers. He has skinned the mighty naugahyde sofa. He has mastered the art of the spreadsheet. But even he is not prepared when strange rumors reach the tribe of an unsettling phenomenon - a window, opened to another world outside the office. Now, with his friends: vicious administrative warrior Jo'see, and Bertram the Train-or, he sets out on a quest to find the source of the unrest. But Wahl'ter will have to make his way through all the tribes in the building first, from the HR wraiths to the sorcerers of marketing, and this office meeting will not end with cake and coffee, but with violence.

I saw the last five minutes of the human race, and it was beautiful. In this apocalyptic alphabet primer, award-winning author Michael Allen Rose teams up with famed Bizarro artist Jim Agpalza to walk through the end of humanity one letter at a time. Beautifully illustrated and powerfully written, this primer offers up 27 apocalyptic visions and accompanying illustrations. Each spread features a short story written by Michael Allen Rose with an original piece of art created for this book. This premium hardcover features: Attractive 8.5 x 8.5 sizingHardcover with full-color art60 pages printed on 70lb Premium white paperColored text for each word of the primer.

It's time for Jesus to attempt his second coming, but linear time progression doesn't apply to extra-spatial deities, so he ends up coming "again" long before the first time - the Jurassic period. Once he arrives, expecting to see a bunch of human beings who've been waiting for him for two millennial seasons, he is surprised to find himself in a weird civilization full of thunder lizards. Jesus goes into Predator mode, arming himself to the teeth and slaughtering them wholesale, trying to find someone who's capable of nailing him to a cross so he can get back home, however, dinosaurs don't have thumbs. What they do have is the "hum," a magical frequency capable of shaping the world. They have mythical metals. They have a sensible social contract. They have a bizarre, but seemingly decent civilization going. Mammals however, are the most disgusting, rotten, violent things imaginable, and they seem to be evolving into something worse with the help of a little cosmic power. Something has been providing them with products that shouldn't be invented for another billion years or so, from the as-seen-on-tv catalog, and they're taking full advantage of it. Who is behind this forced evolution, and what could they stand to gain? Is heaven full of heroes, or gibbering lunatics? It's up to J. C. to set things right and stop the apocalypse and figure out whether the universe really should be run by a bunch of insane deities, or whether it's better to wipe out heaven and let them sort it all out themselves Action, adventure, insanity and good ol' fashioned heresy

Collected here for the first time, you will find the patreon reward chapbooks of Michael Allen Rose for 2017. Bizarro. Horror. Weird literary madness. Plays. Syntax. Stories. Absurdism. Sink pirhanas. Weird beards. Floating children looking for their demon daddy. Unbeatable chickens playing tic-tac-toe. Nightmares, and dreams, and smut, and insanity; it's all right here. This edition of the book has tried to retain the idiosyncrasies of the original published chapbooks wherever possible, which includes graphical anomalies, cartoon panels and liner notes. This is the first volume, which represents the first year of the Patreon campaign, and the original pieces as separate booklets can only be obtained through a subscription to the author's patreon project. This book was lovingly crafted to allow more people to experience the treasures coming from the project. Be ready. I will burn you down.