Mike Haskins

See the funny side of ageing with this collection of amusing observations, silly suggestions and humorous illustrations So youâ??re a little bit older. So what? Forget the creaking joints and fleeing follicles â?? this book is the perfect dose of inspiration and merriment for anyone with more than a few candles on their birthday cake.

Be yourself and wear your wrinkles proudly with the help of this humorous collection of observations and illustrations on how to survive old age For years, you wanted to be treated like a proper adult, but now you're on a downhill slippery slope to a grand old age and you can't seem to find the brakes. You need expert survival advice, such as: - Don't call anyone under 40 "young man" or "young lady". - Do remember where your glasses, keys and wallet are to avoid raised eyebrows from family members. - Don't wear a tartan rug over your knees on a car journey. - Do make an effort to learn all the songs in the top ten. This mischievous little book will help you enjoy your latter years without worrying about what anyone else thinks. After all, the best things in life are old: vintage wine, golden oldies - you're now part of an elite club. Enjoy!

The ultimate joke book with over 3,000 side-splitting jokes for every occasion: ranging from one-liners and observations, to classic funny stories that will provide hours of fun. Mike Haskins and Stephen Arnott collate this wonderful comedy-fest full of quick-fire one-liners, timely observations and rambling yarns – from the classic to the modern. This book contains quips for every occasion: from a best man’s speech to a sales conference, for swapping around the dinner table and even for when you’re sitting on the loo! Arranged by subject matter, you’ll always be able to find just the right joke for any situation. (Unless you're a child, because this book is strictly for adults only.) This hilarious collection will appeal to those who want to find a specific rib-tickler for an upcoming event, and to those who wants to settle down in an armchair and have a good old laugh. From the hilariously cringe-worthy dad joke, to the witty brain-teaser, 3000 Jokes, 2997 Laughs will leave you the funniest person in every room. Jokes include: Tom’s eyesight is getting very bad. He’s had to get a special new pair of glasses to help him find where he left his old glasses.? ? What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador. Today is the birthday of the inventor of the boomerang. I think we should all wish him Many Happy Returns. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but their flag is a huge plus. Settle in, and prepare to laugh your socks off!

Denne boken er full av sprø humor, gode tips og festlige illustrasjoner, og vil hjelpe deg til å nyte årene i høy alder. Du er bare så gammel som du føler deg!

Welcome to The Wicked Wit of Cricket, a compendium packed with the game’s greatest stories from both on and off the field. ‘The English,’ as George Bernard Shaw once remarked, ‘are not very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity.’ Some might call it eternity. Others might instead regard it as heaven. The world of cricket is nevertheless one that is filled with larger than life characters – be they the great players, the unforgettable commentators, the legendary umpires or the most enthusiastic and barmiest fans. The contest between leather and willow is, after all, only challenged by soccer as the world's most popular sport. The Wicket Wit of Cricket is a sumptuous feast of cricket’s greatest tales, legends and anecdotes all spread out across the clubhouse table in bite-sized pieces. Bringing together the sport’s most famous quips, insults, pranks, mishaps, incredible facts, outrageous incidents, plus all those great moments of commentary where the words did not come out quite as intended. This is a book packed not just with wicked wit but with wicket wit as well!

Christmas! They say it's the happiest, most wonderful time of the year ... Unfortunately, it's preceded by the most exhausting, exasperating and expensive time of the year ... And, even worse, the run-up to Christmas now seems to begin sometime in late August. Never mind. It's all worth it of course because on Christmas day you get to watch your family's faces light up as they unwrap all the exciting presents you've got them, before they give you some socks and shower gel in return. Christmas Jokes for Funny Blokes is a new compilation of great jokes old and new celebrating the highs and lows of all aspects of the holiday season including the truth about Santa and his reindeer; present buying; over indulgence; parties; presents; preparations; decorations; carol singing; traditions; atrocious winter weather, the lot. It's the perfect joke book for funny blokes to enjoy at Christmas time, to keep them out of mischief during the festive season, to torment the family with over the festive table – or possibly just to distract them until it's time to start the post-Christmas diet.

Explore ‘Beatle Land’ and the iconic sites associated with The Beatles’ fame. The ‘Fab Four’ – John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr – were all born and brought up in Liverpool, and this illustrated guide reveals why the city was crucial to their musical success. Following in their footsteps around Liverpool and Merseyside, the book explores the places that influenced The Beatles’ musical direction and eventual stardom. Discover the significance of the locations behind hit singles such as ‘Strawberry Fields Forever’ and ‘Penny Lane’, as well as iconic music venue The Cavern Club. The book’s handy location map will guide you to all the sights, including: • St Peter’s Church where Paul famously first met John, who was playing in his band The Quarrymen in the grounds. • The Mersey Ferry which provided a great venue for the Beatles to perform in 1961 and 1962. • Strawberry Fields where John visited summer fairs with his aunt, and which was the inspiration behind the hit single ‘Strawberry Fields Forever’ • Penny Lane and its bus roundabout, celebrated in the song with the same name. • The Cavern Club, the iconic music venue where The Beatles played 292 times and where Brian Epstein first saw them perform in 1961. • John, Paul, George and Ringo's childhood homes. The book also looks at the band’s early childhood influences including schools, parents and relatives that left an indelible mark on the character of the boys as they grew up, as well as their manager Brian Epstein’s role and influence as another Liverpool lad. Fully illustrated, this is the ultimate Beatles fan’s guide to Liverpool.

Do you want to be the person who keeps friends, family, and coworkers laughing with a new joke every day? Packed full of thousands of jokes and alphabetically organized into hundreds of topics from accountants to zebras, this book offers you a massive collection of over-the-top jokes that will have everyone laughing out loud. Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? He finally decided to stick it out for one more year A dog with three legs walks into a Wild West bar and says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw." The police have reported the theft of a shipment of filing cabinets, document folders and labeling machines--it's believed to have been the work of organized crime

Endelig fri! Men tiden går forferdelig sakte mellom frokost og formiddagskaffen, og det er grenser for hvor mange kryssord du kan løse. Du trenger noen gode råd for å overleve! Denne artige, lille boken vil hjelpe deg til å nyte dine beste år med humoristiske råd og festlige illustrasjoner.

Wrinklies Bedside Companion contains everything that the greying generation needs to know about the world, and quite a lot that they don't. Specially designed to live on your bedside table, or wherever you prefer to nap, and to provide light relief before sleep, be a source of interesting quotes and facts for insomniac Wrinklies or serve as a one-stop quote shop for all things that those of you with plenty of life experience will find amusing. Full of short, jokey pieces looking at various aspects of life from a Wrinklies' point of view. These pieces are quirky, satirical, imaginative and above all very funny. They are of course specially designed to appeal to the older reader by tapping into their interests, attitudes, opinions, experience, health problems and the like.

Finally, you're a proper grown-up! But between the paunch and the mortgage, you're starting to wonder if this is what you really want. You need midlife crisis survival skills:- Stop calling it a midlife crisis and start calling it Teenagehood part 2.- Do go to the gym occasionally. Don't train to join the Olympic weightlifting team. This mischievous little book will help you enjoy your second youth with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.

Growing older doesn't mean you have to grow up! If you're the sort of golden oldie who still likes to party hard, chats up strangers in bars, listens to loud music (and not because your hearing is going), or dresses so outrageously that your grandchildren beg you to 'tone it down', then this book is for you. Full of irreverent advice on how to misbehave and put the younger generation to shame, Wrinklies Growing Old Disgracefully is a hilarious celebration of mis-spent seniority, written by two successful comedy sketch writers.

Congratulations! You're 60! You're halfway to being the oldest person who ever lived! But how much of the past 60 years can you remember? You've lived through the summer of love, the moon landings, Ronnie and Maggie, Den and Angie and the entire history of the internet. This is the quiz book that will give your 60-year-old brain cells a nostalgic workout to find out how much attention you were paying to the events, characters and fads of your lifetime. So what are you waiting for? Let's take a quizzical look back at your life.

This sparkling collection of golden age wit and wisdom is proof-positive that the stereotypes of knitting grannies and doddering granddads just aren't true anymore – if, indeed, they ever were. Senior citizens are not going gentle into that good night. They're still out there, living life to the full, taking selfies, 'silver surfing' the net and showing the rest of us how to grow up and grow old disgracefully. Because as Maurice Chevalier said, 'Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.' This is a joke book specifically designed for oldies, so look out you young whippersnappers – you probably won't get half of them!

The ultimate joke book with over 3,000 side-splitting jokes for every occasion, ranging from one-liners and observations, to classic stories that will provide hours of fun. Mike Haskins and Stephen Arnott collate this wonderful comedy-fest full of quick-fire one-liners, timely observations and rambling yarns – from the classic to the modern. This book contains quips for every occasion: from the best man’s speech to a sales conference, for swapping around the dinner table and even for when you’re sitting on the loo! Arranged by subject matter, you’ll always be able to find just the right joke for any situation. (Unless you're a child, because this book is strictly for adults only!) This hilarious collection will appeal to those who want to find a specific rib-tickler for an upcoming occasion, and to those who wants to settle down in an armchair and have a good old laugh. From the hilariously cringe-worthy dad joke, to the witty brain-teaser 3000 Jokes, 2997 Laughs will leave you the funniest one in any room. Jokes include: Tom’s eyesight is getting very bad. He’s had to get a special new pair of glasses to help him find where he left his old glasses. What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador. Today is the birthday of the inventor of the boomerang. I think we should all wish him Many Happy Returns. ? What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but their flag is a huge plus. Settle in, and prepare to laugh your socks off!

Is your eyesight failing, are you not very good at driving yourself, or are you simply blind drunk? These are just a few of the reasons why it would make perfect sense to teach your dog to be your new chauffeur. Here, for the first time, is a complete guide: how to get your dog acquainted with the controls, which breeds are the safest drivers, frequently asked questions; and how to get your dog successfully through their tests. Never again need you wait for a taxi, or make that long highway drive unassisted. If you are a dog owner and a car owner, then How to Teach Your Dog to Drive will be the most useful book you buy this year, or even this decade . . .

Hurjan suosittuihin ikäkirjoihin nyt uusia tuotteita. Humomristiset ja värikkäät kannet eivät jää huomaamatta!

Searching for the ultimate stimulant? Something you can have on the bus in the morning or in the ambient comfort of your own home? The latest User's Guide - a totally natural and controlled experience - is just what you've been looking for. It contains everything you always wanted to know about drugs but were afraid to ask: The history of recreational drugs, a catalogue of natural highs and pharmaceuticals, the physiological effects, drugs and religion, drugs and the law, drug customs from around the world, trafficking drugs, drugs in literature, film and art, famous drug takers, drug slang, urban myths, drug legends and horror stories, quotations, tales of outrageous behaviour and a kilo of curious facts and figures. Did you know that- --Scientists have found traces of marijuana among Shakespeare's personal effects--Victorian prime minister Lord Rosebery would snort cocaine to help pep up his public speaking

Man Walks Into A Bar is a one-stop shop for anyone who likes to hear and tell jokes. The jokes are ordered thematically - wives, husbands, doctors, lawyers, the French, the Germans, jokes about nuns, jokes about monkeys, the lot.