Sonja Lyubomirsky

The bestselling author of The How of Happiness reveals how to find opportunity in life's thorniest moments Focusing on life's biggest, messiest moments, Sonja Lyubomirsky provides readers with the clear-eyed vision they need to build the healthiest, most satisfying life. Lyubomirsky argues that we have been given false promises--myths that assure us that lifelong happiness will be attained once we hit the culturally confirmed markers of adult success. This black-and-white vision of happiness works to discourage us from recognizing the upside of any negative and limits our potential for personal growth. A corrective course on happiness and a call to regard life's twists and turns with a more open mind, The Myths of Happiness shares practical lessons that prove we are more adaptable than we think we are. It empowers readers to look beyond their first response, sharing scientific evidence that often it is our mindset--not our circumstances--that matters most.

A globally renowned happiness scientist and a top relationship researcher draw on the science of happiness, love, and human connection to offer a powerful framework to help readers appreciate and nurture what makes them feel truly loved. A globally renowned happiness scientist and a top relationship researcher draw on the science of happiness, love, and human connection to offer a powerful framework to help readers appreciate and nurture what makes them feel truly loved. 'There aren't two scientists in the world I trust more to deliver research-backed, actionable recommendations on how to improve your relationships.' ANGELA DUCKWORTH, bestselling author of Grit 'A deeply-researched and beautifully-written guide to finding what we all need for true happiness. This book might change your life. ' ARTHUR C. BROOKS, bestselling author of The Happiness Files ----------- We can be loved - and still not feel loved. Many people believe that if they behave the right way, say the right things, or make themselves more lovable, they will feel more loved. But this kind of reflexive thinking is fundamentally misguided, causing a disconnect that can lead to loneliness, depression, and self-doubt. Sonja Lyubomirsky, the world's preeminent expert on happiness, and Harry Reis, one of the world's leading experts on relationships and connection, have studied the complexities of well-being and love in depth. Truly feeling loved, they've discovered, differs widely from the actions that we usually associate with loving, being loved, and falling in love. In this exceptional book, they present a radical, hopeful, and science-backed shift in how to think about love, revealing that feeling loved isn't about making ourselves more appealing, available, and lovable - it's about showing our full and vulnerable selves to others and encouraging our loved ones to reveal their full and vulnerable selves to us. This is true for romantic love but also for the love we feel in friendship, family, and beyond. In How to Feel Love, they introduce five powerful mindsets - tools to help us feel the love we crave with the people in our lives- A Sharing mindset - showing our vulnerabilities and inner world, not just the polished parts A Listening-to-Learn mindset - making space to truly tune in to another, not just to take turns speaking A Radical Curiosity mindset - being genuinely interested in another and asking better questions An Open-Heart mindset - being kind and affirming to another for who they truly are A Multiplicity mindset - embracing the messy complexity in all of us These mindset shifts give shape to a dynamic back-and-forth process the authors call the Relationship See-Saw, which will help readers remake their conversations in ways that enable them to deeply know those they love and become deeply known by them. It isn't enough to be loved. To be truly fulfilled, we must feel loved. This book shows us how. ----------- 'A gift to anyone who wants to live with more joy and connection.' DAN BUETTNER, bestselling author of The Blue Zones

In this pioneering work, a renowned happiness scientist and a top relationship researcher draw on the science of happiness, love, and human connection to offer a powerful framework to help readers appreciate and nurture what makes them feel truly loved. We can be loved--and still not feel loved. Many people believe that if they behave the right way, say the right things, or make themselves more lovable, they will feel more loved. But this kind of reflexive thinking is fundamentally misguided, causing a disconnect that can lead to loneliness, depression, and self-doubt. Sonja Lyubomirsky, the world's preeminent expert on happiness, and Harry Reis, one of the world's leading experts on relationships and connection, have studied the complexities of well-being and love in depth. Truly feeling loved, they've discovered, differs widely from the actions that we usually associate with loving, being loved, and falling in love. In this exceptional book, they present a radical, hopeful, and science-backed shift in how to think about love, revealing that feeling loved isn't about making ourselves more appealing, available, and lovable--it's about showing our full and vulnerable selves to others and encouraging our loved ones to reveal their full and vulnerable selves to us. This is true for romantic love but also for the love we feel in friendship, family, and beyond. In How to Feel Loved, they introduce five powerful mindsets--tools to help us feel the love we crave with the people in our lives. A Sharing mindset--showing our vulnerabilities and inner world, not just the polished parts A Listening-to-Learn mindset--making space to truly tune in to another, not just to take turns speaking A Radical Curiosity mindset--being genuinely interested in another and asking better questions An Open-Heart mindset--being kind and affirming to another for who they truly are A Multiplicity mindset--embracing the messy complexity in all of us These mindset shifts give shape to a dynamic back-and-forth process the authors call the Relationship Sea-Saw, which will help readers remake their conversations in ways that enable them to deeply know those they love and become deeply known by them. It isn't enough to be loved. To be truly fulfilled, we must feel loved. This book shows us how.

Kaikki se, mitä olet aina ajatellut onnellisuudesta ja miten sesaavutetaan, on todennäköisesti harhaa. Onnen salaisuuspiileekin jossain ihan muualla kuin moni meistä olettaa -etsitkö sinä sitä oikeasta paikasta? Miksi onnellisuutta kannattaa tavoitella? Ja ennen kaikkea miten? Psykologian professori Sonja Lyubomirsky tarttuu tähän ajattomaan aiheeseen tieteen näkökulmasta ja muistuttaa, miten tärkeää on kannustaa ihmisiä kehittämään myönteistä suhtautumista elämään. Vuosien tutkimustyön tuloksena syntynyt Kuinka onnelliseksi? esittelee 12aktiviteettia, joiden avulla opit irtautumaan ikävistä ajatuksista ja tekemään elämästäsi mahdollisimman palkitsevaa ja mielekästä. Oivallat, mitensuuremman, kestävämmän onnen saavuttaminen tietoisen harjoittelun avulla on mahdollista - ja kenties myös paljon helpompaa kuin olit koskaan osannut edes aavistaa.

Vores liv er styret af bestemte forestillinger om lykke og ulykke. Vi tror, at vi bliver lykkelige, når vi fx finder den rigtige partner, det rigtige job eller kommer til penge. Og at det medfører stor ulykke, hvis vi bliver skilt, mister jobbet eller bliver ramt af sygdom. Sonja Lyubomirsky viser ud fra den nyeste lykkeforskning, at det forholder sig anderledes. Vi tager fejl af lykken og ulykken og er styret af myter og fastlåste forestillinger. I virkeligheden er vi beskyttet af vores psykologiske immunsystem, og det kan vi lære meget af i de vigtige valg i livet. Bogen giver konkrete redskaber til at træffe sundere og mere velovervejede livsbeslutninger – uden om lykkemyterne. Du får brugbar viden og indsigt til at vurdere, hvorden sande lykke findes – og ikke findes – i dit eget liv.

THE HOW OF HAPPINESS is about how to find lasting happiness. Based on scientific research and trials, this book charts new territory in popular psychology.

Learn how to achieve the happiness you deserve "A guide to sustaining your newfound contentment." --Psychology Today "Lyubomirsky's central point is clear: a significant portion of what is called happiness . . . is up for grabs. Taking some pages out of the positive psychology playbook, she coaches readers on how to snag it." --The New York Review of BooksYou see here a different kind of happiness book. The How of Happiness is a comprehensive guide to understanding the elements of happiness based on years of groundbreaking scientific research. It is also a practical, empowering, and easy-to-follow workbook, incorporating happiness strategies, excercises in new ways of thinking, and quizzes for understanding our individuality, all in an effort to help us realize our innate potential for joy and ways to sustain it in our lives. Drawing upon years of pioneering research with thousands of men and women, The How of Happiness is both a powerful contribution to the field of positive psychology and a gift to people who have sought to take their happiness into their own hands.