Stephen Arnott

The ultimate joke book with over 3,000 side-splitting jokes for every occasion: ranging from one-liners and observations, to classic funny stories that will provide hours of fun. Mike Haskins and Stephen Arnott collate this wonderful comedy-fest full of quick-fire one-liners, timely observations and rambling yarns – from the classic to the modern. This book contains quips for every occasion: from a best man’s speech to a sales conference, for swapping around the dinner table and even for when you’re sitting on the loo! Arranged by subject matter, you’ll always be able to find just the right joke for any situation. (Unless you're a child, because this book is strictly for adults only.) This hilarious collection will appeal to those who want to find a specific rib-tickler for an upcoming event, and to those who wants to settle down in an armchair and have a good old laugh. From the hilariously cringe-worthy dad joke, to the witty brain-teaser, 3000 Jokes, 2997 Laughs will leave you the funniest person in every room. Jokes include: Tom’s eyesight is getting very bad. He’s had to get a special new pair of glasses to help him find where he left his old glasses.? ? What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador. Today is the birthday of the inventor of the boomerang. I think we should all wish him Many Happy Returns. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but their flag is a huge plus. Settle in, and prepare to laugh your socks off!

Do you want to be the person who keeps friends, family, and coworkers laughing with a new joke every day? Packed full of thousands of jokes and alphabetically organized into hundreds of topics from accountants to zebras, this book offers you a massive collection of over-the-top jokes that will have everyone laughing out loud. Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? He finally decided to stick it out for one more year A dog with three legs walks into a Wild West bar and says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw." The police have reported the theft of a shipment of filing cabinets, document folders and labeling machines--it's believed to have been the work of organized crime

Everything you always wanted to know about the more curious aspects of sex but were afraid to ask: the history of sex; sex and religion; sex and the law; sexual customs around the world; the biology of sex; the physiology of sex, anatomical curiosities; Gay and lesbian sex; sex and the animal kingdom; the great sex manuals; sex in literature, film and art; sex aids and toys; aphrodisiacs; masturbation; pornography; famous sexual athletes (and famous flops); the language of sex; kinks and fetishes; perversions; urban myths, tales of outrageous behaviour and a catalogue of bizarre facts and figures. Did you know---One of the lesser-known fetishes is Axillism ? the erotic attraction of armpits.--In the Lebanon it is legal for a man to have sex with any female animal, but if he has sex with a male animal it is punishable by death.--Cleopatra is said to have owned one of the world's first vibrators. Cleopatra's toy didn't run on batteries, it was insect powered - a small, hollow implement full of buzzing bees.--Arab fishermen used to have sex with any 'dugong' (sea-cow) they accidentally drowned in their nets. This practice was meant to stop the dead animal's relatives seeking revenge and drowning the fisherman.

The ultimate joke book with over 3,000 side-splitting jokes for every occasion, ranging from one-liners and observations, to classic stories that will provide hours of fun. Mike Haskins and Stephen Arnott collate this wonderful comedy-fest full of quick-fire one-liners, timely observations and rambling yarns – from the classic to the modern. This book contains quips for every occasion: from the best man’s speech to a sales conference, for swapping around the dinner table and even for when you’re sitting on the loo! Arranged by subject matter, you’ll always be able to find just the right joke for any situation. (Unless you're a child, because this book is strictly for adults only!) This hilarious collection will appeal to those who want to find a specific rib-tickler for an upcoming occasion, and to those who wants to settle down in an armchair and have a good old laugh. From the hilariously cringe-worthy dad joke, to the witty brain-teaser 3000 Jokes, 2997 Laughs will leave you the funniest one in any room. Jokes include: Tom’s eyesight is getting very bad. He’s had to get a special new pair of glasses to help him find where he left his old glasses. What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador. Today is the birthday of the inventor of the boomerang. I think we should all wish him Many Happy Returns. ? What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but their flag is a huge plus. Settle in, and prepare to laugh your socks off!

Man Walks Into A Bar is a one-stop shop for anyone who likes to hear and tell jokes. The jokes are ordered thematically - wives, husbands, doctors, lawyers, the French, the Germans, jokes about nuns, jokes about monkeys, the lot.

Crossing continents and centuries Stephen Arnott brings us invaluable information about all kinds of bizarre regional customs - from sexual practices to the received wisdom on cannibalism - that could save you from embarrassing local faux pas while travelling. Did you know that amongst the Tartars, relations of the bride and bridegroom would traditionally divide into two groups and fight each other until some had suffered bleeding wounds? It was thought that causing blood to flow in this way would ensure the couple had strong sons; or that in Hungary, a cure for infertility was to beat a barren woman with a stick? The stick having previously been used to separate mating dogs; or that amongst some Aboriginal tribes of New South Wales that men who had any contact with their mothers-in-law would suffer terrible hard luck? The threat was so great that married men even avoided looking in their mother-in-law's general direction.