Victoria Joyce

A perfect and relevant read for what we all have been experiencing this last year. How do we find peace in the midst of storms and when what is going on around us is out of our control? How do we find calm in the midst of a storm? How do we stay centered in the eye of the hurricane and let it whirl around us? How do we sustain a positive outlook on life when life looks dismal? How do we keep going when we are out of energy, want to give up, and don't see anything good coming out of the bad? How do we keep picking ourselves up after loss after loss, trial after trial, obstacles upon obstacles? Who do we turn to for comfort and reassurance that we are going to be ok and get through this? Even though my personal story was published before the last year, it couldn't be more relevant for all of us. So many people are fearful, angry, holding on to hurts, grieving losses, and finding it hard to adjust to the new abnormal normal, wondering what it is all for and what good can come out of it. The answer is letting go and trusting in God's plans for our lives. He is the one that can bring inner peace and healing and walk us through any storm that might come our way. All those disappointments can be healed, as we are strengthened through our circumstances. Is it easy? Not always, but holding on to the pain does not bring us comfort. Relying on alcohol, sex, food, drugs or any other unhealthy habits is not the answer either. Been there, done that, doesn't work. Using those coping mechanisms only led to more insecurity, sabotage, and chaos that I was trying to escape from. I also know firsthand about pain and wanting to give up and being angry at God for things that had happened. I've experienced loss after loss and life, many times made no sense at all. I often felt way off course as to what I thought my life would be like. Join me on my journey, as I openly and honestly share about my own alcoholism, childhood wounds that were buried, self-sabotage, never feeling like I fit in, and as I go through unspeakable losses some of us can't even imagine. If you have ever struggled with making poor choices due to lack of self-esteem and false childhood beliefs, I understand that too. I also share the many challenges I face daily dealing with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Lyme Disease, and Mulitple Sclerosis. Many have said that reading my story was an "eye-opener" for them, sparking unhealed wounds, resentments, and pain they didn't know they were still holding on to. Yet through reading my story they were able to grasp on to self-forgiveness, God's unconditional, unwavering love and provision for us. Readers appreciated my raw honesty touching on subjects many Christian authors shy away from. It helped them know that they were not alone and that it was ok not to be ok. It is not a quick read and is suggested that you highlight passages along the way that "speak to you" so you can refer back to them. It is an intense read at times, and I guarantee you that you will want to walk away from continuing on my journey at some point, but I urge you to continue reading, especially at those times. God wants to heal you. I promise that you will be changed in ways you never expected. My story continues in my second book, "Heart Tugs, Hugs & A Few Tugs of Wars" also recommended by many.

Victoria Joyce's "Heart Tugs, Hugs & A Few Tug of Wars" is a "Pinnacle Book Achievement Award" winner. It is a sequel to her first book, "Finding Peace When Life's Manual No Longer Makes Sense." The author does not lose her unique and eloquent style of writing and candor, as she touches on more of life's challenges. You will also sense the tremendous spiritual growth that overtakes her, as she continues to seek God for guidance and answers. As before, Joyce candidly, and through humor, expresses how important self-forgiveness and letting go is. Life does not fall into place easily for Victoria Joyce, nor is there a fairy tale ending or a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Two more chronic disabling illnesses surface; Lyme disease and Multiple Sclerosis, leaving the author even more limited than before, facing more challenges and an even more unpredictable future. Financial debt continues to grow, relationships do not work out, more losses and unexpected changes take place and so do more internal battles. Yet, unlike most Christian authors, no subject is off limits for Victoria Joyce. As in "Finding Peace When Life's Manual No Longer Makes Sense," you will find just the right amount of comic relief when needed. "Heart Tugs, Hugs & A Few Tug of Wars" can be a 'stand-alone' read. However, it is recommended that you read her first book in order to get the full impact of her journey. It has been said by many, that Victoria Joyce has a way of reaching deep within your heart, mind, and soul, to touch you in unexpected ways that will change your life forever. Those who know her and have read her first book agree that in order to absorb even a fraction of what she has so divinely written, sharing her journey over two books, was the right decision.

RELATE (originally the National Marriage Guidance Council) is probably the largest and most successful service of its kind in the world. For over 50 years, helping many hundreds of thousands of couples and individuals, it has developed an approach to couple counselling that is based on acknowledgment of the uniqueness of individual clients and their relationships, a respect for their autonomy and cultural differences, and a commitment to counselling with empathy, genuineness and warmth. The authors of this book are excellently qualified to provide this unique account of the RELATE Approach in action: both were trained by RELATE, both have very substantial counselling experience, and both have supervised the work of other RELATE counsellors for several years. The ever-changing characteristics of relationships and family life are fully recognised in the RELATE Approach, which helps clients to find their solutions to difficulties of family life, transitions, separation, divorce, sexuality, gender and identity, by helping them to find meanings in the patterns of their relationships, and to make sense of emotions, thoughts and actions in themselves and their partner. This book is designed to enrich and stimulate the work of counsellors working within a wide range of counselling models and traditions. This is not a prescriptive manual but rather an informed guide to the RELATE Approach, which includes many illustrative examples and (invented) case studies. The RELATE Approach still depends upon the counsellor's repertoire of counselling skills, but offers a three-stage counselling model (exploration, understanding, action) made operational within the format of brief, time-limited therapy. "The counsellors with RELATE and its predecessor, the Marriage Guidance movement, were the founders of counselling as we know it today. The approaches to counselling which they have developed have wide application. Butler and Joyce write very well and I found this book clear and full of good ideas for clinical practice. I can confidently recommend the book to all who care for couples in relationships." C. Murray Parkes OBE, MD, FRCPsych "A useful introduction to RELATE's three-stage model of couple counselling and some of the concepts on which it is based." Christopher Clulow, Director of the Tavistock Marital Studies Institute