Duncan P Bradshaw

Book four in the GoreCom series and this one has not one, not two, but TEN possible endings for you to seek out. Now that's giving you your money's worth isn't it? So what is it about? Well, the title might give it away, but if not, then brace yourself for this synopsis, because it's an absolute belter. Are you frustrated with your mundane existence? Fed up spending day-after-day drinking hot, milky beverages, endlessly pressing 'refresh', and chowing down on copious amounts of biscuits and/or cake? Do you yearn for a world (or even a taste) of excitement and wonder? Then you're in luck With this 'ere book, you'll be transported to a fantastic world (well, the majestic city of Salisbury), where a rather pissed-off monster (hellbent on devouring everyone on the planet), has been summoned completely out of the blue. On a Wednesday, of all days, AND it's sunny outside Hence, instead of enjoying the uncharacteristically wonderful weather, you find yourself armpit-deep in mild-to-moderate peril. Have you pictured that in your brain? Got it? Good. Because the ending is completely up to you. Does humanity stand, or does it fall? Do disasters happen, beyond all mortal comprehension, or do you opt for a more traditional approach? What devilish secrets have I hidden away? Do I have any more tedious and not even terribly inventive questions to ask you? Why yes, yes I do Are you still reading this? If so, then stop right there at the end of this sentence so you can jump in and find out for yourself, as you get to... dictate your fate. Cor blimey guv'nor And all that jazz. If that doesn't tempt you then I don't know what will.

The sleepy village of Charlton is under assault. Not from crazies, zombies or radioactively enhanced mutants, but from locally grown flowers. These devilish orchids lure people in with their favourite smell, before rendering them unconscious, just so they can pilfer a piece of the victim's skeleton. As doctors and paramedics are pushed to breaking point, it's down to scantily clad detective, Harry Surge, to root out who's behind this unconventional attack. To nip this in the bud, Harry is going to have to call in old favours, investigate the history of the village, leave no leaf unturned, and commandeer as many different vehicles as he can get away with. Even ones he doesn't know how to spell. Brace yourself for a peculiar hike through rural England, bring a packed lunch if you get peckish, but whatever you do, DON'T SMELL THE FLOWERS Cos, ya know, THEY WANT TO STEAL YOUR BONES Damn, I'm good. Never thought I'd be able to get the title into the synopsis. Ten points to me, none to you. You've got a mountain to climb now, loser. Book 3 in the GoreCom Series is a cautionary tale about the folly of smelling flowers without considering what they might want from you in return. The silliness ante is well and truly raised, and the fourth wall broken. Also included (because Duncan is so bloody kind to you lot), is a walkthrough of the real-life locales contained within the book AND a deleted scene...now...go away.

A book that reads like an old B-movie, with larger than life characters, monsters, body parts and all set in the UK

The definitive version of the undoubted summer blockbuster book Probably. With an encyclopaedic knowledge of cake, and exclusive access to the church's stockpile of holy weapons, the Order of the Crimson Rosary are on the frontline in the eternal war between good and evil. Whether it's repelling demonic possession, judging the authenticity of supposed miracles or having the final say on the colour of bunting at church fetes, the organisation's members sacrifice their own freedom to keep the world safe. Father Flynn, the top operative in the UK, has been responsible for a number of recent high profile gaffs. Given an ultimatum, he must choose between returning to his old job of preserving the last microfiche machine in the church's library, or submit himself for rehabilitation. Yet evil doesn't take a ticket and wait in line, as the dreaded cannibal nuns from outer space land to begin their annual harvest. Can Flynn get himself sober enough to repel their evil machinations? Or will another idyllic British village become the nun's latest buffet? One thing's for certain, to beat them, Father Flynn is going to have to kick the habit. So what's in this that isn't in the paperback or Kindle version? Well...this has all five of the movie trailers found in both of the other versions, plus two bonus ones. It's in hardback which is useful for THWACKing insects, and has both alternate endings, the Dabbidah Ending and the Red Dwarf Ending. You want more? Fine. It has two deleted scenes AND a Director's commentary giving background information on all of the chapters in the book. More? Are you seriously mental? Okay, there is also an additional scene which is exclusive to this book. There. I'm not putting anything else in there or I'd be forever writing this book. Buy it, or don't. The choice is yours my learned friend. Book two in the GoreCom series, this time it's highly trained priests facing off against the titular cannibal nuns from outer space. Can the finest Crimson Rosary operatives in the UK thwart the nefarious plan to reduce another population centre to compote?

It doesn't matter if it's completely mucky, no job is too big for Mister Sucky. Serial killer Clive Beauchamp has checked into his hotel room and is all set to increase his death toll by one. However, intended target Angela Foxe has other ideas and murderer becomes murderee. Determined to save Clive's soul from eternal damnation, an ancient evil instructs one of his acolytes to intervene. Unfortunately for Clive, the hired help is not the brightest bulb in the box, and instead of Clive being born anew within an avatar of unparalleled strength and brutality, his spirit is interred inside a vacuum cleaner. Irked but undeterred, Clive decides that the only course of action is to finish what he started, taking care not just of Angela, but everyone else involved in the plot to kill him and stuff his corpse in a dingy cleaning cupboard. The only thing that can stop him comes not from the other hotel guests or staff, but from within, as a growing, nagging voice threatens to escalate a simple case of revenge, into something far, far worse. Will Clive get payback for being killed? Is a vacuum cleaner capable of murder and mayhem? Does this book suck? Does this synopsis blow? Can you come up with a better vacuum cleaner related joke? Find out in... Mr Sucky Mr Sucky is the first in Duncan P. Bradshaw's new range of books. With his work lurking on the borders of horror and bizarro, and in an effort to pigeonhole himself, he has created his own genre 'Gore-com', which is as pretentious as it sounds. These books have been written to test your gag reflex, force a smile, make your eyes roll and work out those other facial muscles that rarely break a sweat. Pick one up and see what you reckon. What's the worst that can happen?* * Duncan P. Bradshaw cannot be held accountable for anything worse that happens as a result of reading his books. So there.

George A. Romero was an inspiration to many, and responsible for helping to reanimate the undead into mainstream culture. To honour his legacy, EyeCue Productions have put together a charity anthology, with each story based on the canon he created. Eighteen stories from indie authors, each one set in the world which Romero created. Some give insights into events from the Dead films, others use the landscape he formed and create something wholly unique, but still governed by the framework within which the films were set. You'll find no running zombies in here, just proper old-school shamblers, set on nothing but ripping people apart and feasting on their flesh This book is made by fans, for fans, our humble tribute to a man who set the fire of creativity within so many. All proceeds will be going to the American Cancer Society, so you can not only enjoy the stories within, but also contribute to trying to beat this deadly disease. When there's no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth