Everything in my life was on track, just like it was supposed to be, and exactly how I had planned. I was in a loving relationship, had a nice house, a good job, a great family, and was just about to welcome our son into this world. We couldn't wait another moment for our new adventure as a family to begin. But the moment Theo was born, everything changed. I was met with challenges and emotions I did not plan for and had no control over. I lost my identity and had no idea if I would ever see that person again. I muddled through, longing for my old life back. Why did I feel like this when this was all I had dreamed about for so long? Feeling ashamed of how I felt, I isolated myself and my feelings. But as time went on, I began to realise that there is no normal and there is no shame in missing my old life. Everyone's experiences are different; all babies have their own agenda, and our bodies and minds do not always react in the way we want or plan for. I decided to share my journey to help mothers to be honest about the reality of motherhood - the good and the bad. As a first-time parent, I had no former experience and perhaps unrealistic expectations of what parenting really looked like, and I was overwhelmed with the reality. I was too ashamed to speak up and say how I felt in fear of not living up to the picture-perfect mother, but the only one who suffered was me. This book exposes the reality of motherhood beyond the perfect Instagram posts, and the pleasantries shared between mums over a coffee. But as time went on, I started to find my own unique path, being the best mum, I could possibly be. Finally letting go of my unrealistic expectations of motherhood. I realised (maybe later than others) that the rewards to motherhood are priceless, more extraordinary than anything I ever expected. They are unpredictable, incomparable, and irreplaceable. They are to be kept safe inside us as a reminder of why we embarked on this beautiful turbulent journey in the first place.
